Rambling...

No work to share yet, but I PROMISE I'll get something up by Friday. How's that? :)

Last night, my women's Bible study group met and talked about the fear of intimacy and the fear to be ourselves. I wanted to share a couple thoughts about our discussion with you today...

I have quite a few friends that I share intimate details about my life with - friends that I grew up with, friends from college and friends from church. I would say that I'm usually pretty transparent with my life (probably too much sometimes). With these people, I'm not afraid to say what I'm really feeling. Within this group, I might have some people that I might not share exactly what I'm feeling, but they know my opinion about everything from clothes to politics. We're still really tight. Then, I have people in my life that I'm generally acquainted with - we might talk about the weather and what's been going on - but nothing too deep.

God desires a relationship with us that's on the deep, intimate, emotional side of things. You might say, "God knows everything already so why do I need to tell him?" I've thought that way too, but He really wants us to talk to Him. When we verbalize what we're really thinking and feeling, we become vulnerable to Him. Our vulnerability allows us to experience growth in our faith and a change in our hearts. Last night, I was convicted to talk to the Lord more. I also felt God calling me to deepen some of those relationships that seem superficial right now. How can I find intimacy in my relationships with other people? It's so easy to get caught up being comfortable with the people I spend a lot of time around, but God wants us to find new people to encourage and build up as well.

On another note, sometimes fear can hold us back from using the talents and gifts we've been given. We read verses from Exodus last night that really spoke to me. Have you ever been in a situation where you've had all the skills to do something, but you weren't willing to do it? Or vice versa, you were willing to try, but had no experience whatsoever? I really believe that God has given me the passion to be a mother. Because I haven't had the opportunity yet, it has made me feel like somewhat of a failure. As hard as it may be for me, I feel like God has called me to help out my friends with children. He wants me to serve them by giving them a break. I didn't have a willing heart at first, but now I do. I feel that I have gift in this area, but because I couldn't use it in the way I wanted to, I wanted nothing to do with it. Hmmm....something to think about, right? I'm thankful God has given me a change of heart.

Last night, I was up until 2 a.m. I had some coffee when I got home from work and I was just wired! I did it on purpose but I was thinking I would be in bed by at least midnight. I can't believe everything I was able to get done. I'm only hoping my productivity will carry into tonight becuase I have tons more to do!!!!

Have a great Wednesday! :)



Anyway, enought