Friday, May 09, 2014

The Day I Became a Mother

I became a mother the day I sat across the table from a young girl with a rounded stomach. We were at a Panera Bread. She was sitting with her mom on one side of the table and I was on the other side with your daddy. Her pregnancy counselor sat neutrally between the two of us. When I heard the words, "I choose you," I knew my life would never be the same.

She said she had no idea how to make this decision but God had made it clear to her "that she would know who to choose by the way they speak about Me." It's been a little more than five years since we first met the birth mother of you, our twin daughters. But her words will always be clear to me. They are locked in my heart forever.

I became a mother the day your daddy and I went with to an ultrasound and doctor's appointment. We sat and watched in awe as our little girls moved within her belly. We listened with excitement to your galloping heartbeats.

I became a mother the day we sat on the other end of the phone waiting very impatiently for a phone call. We knew our birth mother was having some tests done and it could likely be the day our babies were born. That phone call came around 6:00 p.m. on May 1, 2009. "They are here," the pregnancy counselor said. "Born at 3:33 and 3:34 p.m. Everyone is doing well! Could you come to the hospital tomorrow?"

I became a mother the day we nervously arrived at the hospital. I was clutching a vase of flowers. Daddy had our camera. We knocked on the door and stepped inside where we saw two bassinets. My eyes respectfully went to our birth mother first and then reverently to my daughters.

I became a mother the day first one and then two little bundles were placed in my arms. I couldn't believe they were mine to love and raise. My heart was bursting beyond anything I could imagine.

I became a mother the day I went to the hospital with your daddy to bring you home. We changed you into "going home" outfits from your grandparents and then it was time to go. We hugged and cried with our birth mother and her family. It was bittersweet for all of us. My heart broke for her as she said goodbye.

I became a mother the day I survived my first night with you. You slept together in a bassinet at the foot of our bed. I don't think I slept a wink. Every little whimper or cry made me check on you. I fed you, changed you and rocked you - all the time relishing in the fact that this was my job now.

I became a mother the day I received a beautiful vase of roses and lilies from our birth mother and her family on my very first Mother's Day. The next day would have been the last day she could have changed her mind. When I received that beautiful bouquet, I knew without a doubt that THIS.WAS.REAL.

This weekend, I am celebrating my 6th Mother's Day and like always, I am reflecting on those first days with my girls. Later, this month we will visit with our birth mother and her family to celebrate Mother's Day and the girls' 5th birthday.

A long time ago, I dreamed of the day I would become a mother. It didn't come in the way I was expecting - in the way it happens for most people. I wouldn't get to see a positive pregnancy test, feel my baby's kicks within my belly or experience the pains of childbirth.

Instead, I became a mother because of what I consider to be a gift. A gift of ultimate love. A gift of choice. A gift that I will forever treasure and that humbles me each and every day.

"...He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory." ~Isaiah 61:3


  1. I loved reading your story! Your girls are precious. :)

  2. This is beautiful! Wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day.

  3. This is just beautiful, Jill. Made me cry a little - my cousin and her husband were supposed to be parents this Mother's Day - to a little boy who was born last week, but at the last minute, the judge halted all adoption proceedings after the birth father decided maybe he might be interested in keeping the baby. My heart is broken for them - your post gives me hope for them!! And - your dresses in the last picture are AWESOME! ;) ;) The girls are so cute!!

  4. ♥ Happy Mother's Day! I love that you keep in contact with your birth mother and call her "our" birth mother. :-D Beautiful story of LOVE in its most raw and precious form. {hugs}

  5. A beautiful heart warming story, have a wonderful Mothers Day.

  6. Happy Mother's Day to you!! What a beautiful story!!

  7. I loved reading your story. It's beautiful in every way. The love shines through. We are an adoptive family too and your words really rang true. Happy Mother's Day.

  8. So sweet! Loved reading this--Not only did God bless you with two darling girls, but girls that look so much like you! :)

  9. I am an adult adoptee so I know full well the beauty of adoption. Your story touched my heart. (And your daughters are just gorgeous!)

  10. What a wonderful story!! It truly touched my heart and I can feel so much love in your posts. Your girls are just precious!! God Bless your family and Happy belated Mother's Day!
    Sherrie K

  11. Happy Mother's Day Jill!

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  13. Jill, I love telling your adoption story to people I come in contact with, so I can only imagine what a joy it is for you to tell it! It was such a blessing to watch as God continued to unfold your story, and now to watch your girls as they grow up is a wonderful gift!

    Should you have the time, I'm posting the link to my cousin Becky's blog detailing their adoption journey that they've been on since November. Once again, God's hand has been in it every, single, step of the way, and in a little over a month they will be signing the finalization papers for little baby Isobel. I hope it encourages you!


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